boy talk

Over the past few years mental health has become a topic that more and more people are talking about. And that’s great, because we’ve been silent about it for too long. However, it’s come to my attention that we aren’t talking. Not really. Because we seem to be forgetting that mental health issues affect everyone. And it seems that people think mental health disorders are only affect woman. That mental health disorders are selective.

They’re not.

I know a lot of guys that are expected to act a certain way because guys can’t cry. And guys can’t show their feelings because it’s unmanly. Because it makes them weak.

NEWS FLASH FOR ALL OF THE MALES WHO DIDN’T KNOW OR WERE TOLD OTHERWISE:

Having feelings and needing help and having mental health issues, doesn’t make you weak.

It makes you human.

In a world where girls are brought up being told to use their words, boys are told to “man up” and”grow a pair”. We forget that boys have problems too, gender bias is causing us to neglect the mental health of boys everywhere. And that needs to change.

Boys feel insecure

Boys get bullied

Boys cry

Boys.Have.Mental.Illnesses

We live in a society where boys are told to conform to this unrealistic macho man image. And we need to wake the hell up and start addressing it. Because this is bullshit. Because this is not okay.

Mental health affects everyone. So to every single male out there, a small reminder that struggling with mental health doesn’t make you weak, so fuck anyone who made you feel like you had to be silent about it.

-C

Currently listening to, 44 More by Logic

i can’t bring myself to give up

I find it odd that everyone had plans for themselves when they were younger.

Fireman, doctor, nurse, popstar, be best friends with Hannah Montana.

Then gave up on them.

I’ve been taking things slowly these past few days, setting small goals for myself using this app Remente, because I could be having the worst day and somehow knowing that I made the bed (one of my small everyday goals) makes it just a tad better. I’ve also started working on designing a new blog, shocking considering that Klexos isn’t even 3 months old yet but it’s kind of been like therapy for me. This time though I’m going to use my “real” name, I used quotation marks because I consider Chips to be a gigantic part of my identity which is why I prefer to be called Chips instead of my previous name, Chifundo. Pronunced Chi-fuhn-doh, for those of you wondering.

I say previous name because I changed my name from Chifundo to Adria. Actually, I changed my entire name, but like I said before, I’ve always considered Chips as my name which is why you can still can me Chips. I literally went off on such a tangent there, but what I was trying to say is that I thought it would be kinda fun to do a chatty update, because I was reading some of my older posts on Seventeen Wishes a while ago and I came across this chatty update and I loved how spontaneous it seemed. Lmao, I say that like I actually plan what I’m going to write in advance, which, in case you were wondering only happens if I’m doing a collab.

Also a piece of advice, don’t ever change your name it’s so much work. You have to change all your account names and if you’re as much of an idiot as I am you’ll delete your accounts before seeing who you were following before. Now you have this big ass conundrum because short term memory is a bitch and you don’t remember a single name except your own and maybe like, two other people. Then you have to tell everyone you’ve changed your name and because you can’t be arsed with messaging 70 billion family members they just call you by your old name. THEN you need to get yourself a whole new email address and resubscribe to everything you signed up for and in the middle of all of this you start watching The Walking Dead, so your fat ass is just sitting there eating popcorn and watching Netflix like you didn’t just change your name and don’t have a bunch of stuff to do.* insert dramatic hand gestures*

Side note: Please don’t take offense to the fat ass bit, I was referring to myself.

This week has been the most hectic I’ve had in a long time. Between being kicked out of my aunt’s house and finding out my “sister” sent an email to my best friend telling her to stay away from me and then finding out that my entire family had a group chat about me.

It disgusts me. The idea that they not only said that I was “faking and romanticizing the idea of having a mental illness” but threatened to take legal action if my best friend (who is older than me btw) continued to communicate with me.

I might have just lost my best friend. She’s the reason I’m still alive and she’s gone because of them.

I’m not speaking to anyone in my family right now, I don’t ever intend to.

It just hurts. I finally started opening up to someone, trusting someone. And she’s gone. Obviously, I don’t expect her to continue speaking to me, because there’s no way in the world I’d allow her to be threatened with legal action and then have it actually happen, she doesn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve any of it.

I don’t know if you’re reading this. I hope you are. I love you.

I guess this is goodbye.

A/N: I realize that the ending sounded a lot like the end but it’s not. She wouldn’t want me to give up. I don’t want me to give up.

It’s taken me a while.

To be fair the past year has more or less consisted of me… trying to make things go back to how they were before.

And then I came to the realization that, life doesn’t work that way. This realization came to me this morning and I was speechless. Had I really spent more than six months trying to be the person I was last year?

I spent yesterday and today re-organizing my thoughts. If you know me, you know by that I meant I tossed things around randomly until it was chaotic but semi-understandable.

The past two days have consisted of taking photos, writing and music. It’s been exactly what I needed it to be. I have a new blank canvas now, two, actually. And this time, I’m taking a different approach to this whole… what am i even doing with my life crisis. I’ve written 5 blog posts in the past two days, on a completely different blog I created yesterday and it’s become this intricate beautiful mess and it feels really good to not care about if my posts are the way they were a year ago.

xxxChips

 

Things I’ve Learned in 1 year of blogging🌿

Heyy everyone

So this is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while and I’ve finally gotten a chance so I proudly present you with:

1.BE YOURSELF

It’s easy to put on a mask.But it takes guts to be yourself. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s that people relate and love honesty.Be yourself.Love yourself.And don’t be afraid to let your freak flag fly.

2.BE GENUINE WHEN REPLYING TO COMMENTS

I didn’t learn this one all on my one. But shortly after reading #Girlboss I started Seventeen Wishes and responding to comments in a genuine way and not getting caught up in seeming a certain way has helped me make friendships with other bloggers and get to learn more about myself and other people. I’ve learnt that people will always love the real you more than a mask🌿💕

3.DON’T BE AFRAID TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE

You’re a blogger.And you should be proud of that! Don’t be afraid to mention your blog or market or share your posts on your social media either.I know it can be frightening but believe me when I say it’ll work out, don’t be afraid to take a chance.

4.DO THE MOST

Blog about the things you love.And things that interest you and don’t be afraid to try something new if you find your current niche no longer works for YOU.

5.DON’T DO IT FOR THE VIEWS

There is nothing wrong with wanting your blog to be successful. But at the end of the day,at least in my opinion,blogging shouldn’t only be about the numbers. Make sure you’re writing for reasons that matter and are important to YOU.

6.GIVE IT YOUR ALL BUT DON’T FORGET TO LOVE YOURSELF

If you decide blogging is for you then I encourage you to try your best. Blogging is full of excitement and endless learning experiences.If at some stage it becomes to much don’t be afraid of taking a break, loving blogging is great but don’t push yourself to the point where you burnout.And even if you do experience burnout, it’s OKAY. Don’t rush the process of taking time to focus on yourself.💕

So that’s it for this post,I hope you enjoyed it ❤️

xxxChips

“Flower child with a rock and roll heart”

I’m back. I think.

Heyy everyone

So tomorrow, would have marked a month since I’d last posted anything. I’m truly sorry for not posting anything for so long but I really couldn’t bring myself to write anything except sad, moody poetry.

A month away from blogging felt like a lot longer than 30 days. And it gave me a lot of time to think, think about myself as an individual and the direction I want Seventeen Wishes to be going in. I didn’t come up with any solutions just a lot of new songs, poetry and mixed emotions.

So I decided to ask you. All of you. What you think, as well as what you like and don’t like about Seventeen Wishes. The things you would like to see more of and the things you don’t enjoy as much.

xxxChips

I don’t care what your mind says

You deserve to be happy

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FROM THE ROOTS UP 🌪

Nebulous/adj.1.in the form of a cloud or haze;hazy. 2 (of a concept or idea) vague or ill-defined.3. Astronomy relating to a nebula or nebulae.

Derivatives :nebulosity,nebulously;nebulae


I want this blog to be raw.A space,that isn’t, filtered. And in saying this,I write this post for me.And I write it because for me blogging is the therapy 5 days out 7.

Everything feels weirdly spacey, like my brain’s turned into mush but my thoughts are swirling around my head;orbiting around this planet my psychologist is only beginning to understand.

It all feels so hazy. It’s like swimming in a pool with fog surrounding you,and you feel extremely disoriented and you’re trying to push through and get to the other side but it’s so extensive that you don’t even know which way you’re going and whether or not it’s the right way.

Several things have happened lately that I want to share with you. Firstly after years of me knowing it :I was diagnosed with depression and a severe mood lability.

Honestly I’m not even freaked out about it, at first I felt relieved,because let me tell you that there is no better feeling than knowing that what you are going through has a name and you’re not going insane.Because that’s literally what it felt like.The funny thing is that I figured this in grade 3;the depression part,not the other thing, and nobody believed me.And honestly I don’t know how a 9 year old figured it out but I did and I did tell someone but they were so condescending and skeptical about it,that I just didn’t talk about it with people. Maybe that has something to do with me having trust issues or the fact that I have trouble expressing myself if it’s not on WordPress,in my journal or in the note section of my phone,I forget where I was going with that-It’s been happening a lot lately.

And then the part that I had felt so certain about in the beginning:high school,my future and everything else that comes with that. All of it, mapped. All summed up in my head,with the most intricate of details;gone. That imperfect future;the one with flaws that was still every bit as magical with all the flaws;the one my mind weaved up and conjured into this living,breathing idea isn’t what I thought it would be like.

So for now the music takes me, takes me back to when things weren’t so fuzzy and messed up and my plans were still perfect.

I’ve also been messing up a lot lately,simple actions that even a 5 year old could perform well are beginning to seem like rocket science to me. I just feel like I’m in this big bubble and I’m floating and I’m here but my mind is just so scattered and so full of everything and nothing that it feels like my head is going to burst open and leave all my thoughts on the floor like confetti for everyone to see.

We reached 200 followers and there are people who I want to acknowledge and thank for that specifically but I’ve set the wrong mood and it wouldn’t make sense to do it now,so that post is coming. I hope it makes you smile,because all of you make me so happy and I’m ever so grateful for all of you

But for now, to quote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I want you to know that I am both happy and sad. And I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

xxxChips❤️❤️

MENTAL HEALTH

So I’ve haven’t written about Mental Health much and I haven’t shared my story with you guys and that is something that will happen eventually and it is a mess of a story, but right now that’s not important. This post is not about my depression/anxiety/mood disorder story, this post is about everything happening now, in the moment, in my maze of a mind.

So for those of you who don’t know I recently started boarding school, and we weren’t allowed our phones/laptops for the first few weeks of it so I apologise for my absence.

I hate it full stop

I don’t fit in. In the two brief weeks I’ve been there I’ve made some amazing friends and I’ve figured out who the fake ones are.The thing is… I’m not happy. I can’t focus in class, I don’t like the extra-murals, I don’t like the people(of course in saying this I mean some of the people, most, of the people).And the truth is, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I feel trapped. So trapped that I’m going to see a doctor sometime within the next few weeks for an evaluation.

I  can’t even blog at boarding school, do you realise that? Blogging is what helps with my depression, my anxiety and still when I write about something as simple as whether or not I’m A Feminist  people (my family)start the conversation about whether or not the content on this blog is too ‘mature’ for me when these are things they have a) discussed with me and b) things I will share regardless. I started this blog for me. I started it and it gave me a  space where I could voice my opinion and hear the opinions of others, I haven’t received a single rude comment since I started and obviously not all bloggers are that lucky. But the truth is when I start writing about my mental health story people are going to judge me, regardless of whether or not the responses are positive or negative, I’m being judged. It makes sense that because I’m so young and there are pictures of me on this blog that people wouldn’t want me to write about a topic that could impact my future so ‘majorly’.

I am not a genius so I can’t say that I won’t regret writing about my mental health story 20 years from now, but I don’t think I will and writing about my story and sharing it with other people is something I need to do.For myself. And it is really, really important to me that people understand that what they are going through, isn’t something they are going through alone.

……………………………………………………………

I feel in volumes

-Adria T Petrov

GIRLBOSS PLAYLIST 2018|GRL POWER

Heyyy

So in case you haven’t noticed yet I luurrvvee music. Some of the songs on this playlist are quite old but that’s never stopped me from dancing wildly to them, lol, who even am I? Anyway without further ado:

GIRLBOSS PLAYLIST 2018

  • National Anthem-Lana Del Rey
  • You Don’t Own Me-Grace
  • Woman- Kesha
  • Say It To My Face-Madison Beer
  • New Rules- Dua Lipa
  • Don’t Play- Halsey
  • Do My Thang-Miley Cyrus
  • Feelings- Hayley Kiyoko
  • O.D.D- Hey Violet
  • Work- Iggy Azalea
  • Secret(Shh)- Charli XCX (Honestly not sure if this song fits the theme but it makes me feel badass so we’re putting it here anyway)
  • Needed Me- Rihanna
  • Dead- Madison Beer
  • Nasty Gal- Betty Davis
  • Hard Out Here- Lily Allen
  • You Already Know-Fergie
  • Sorry Not Sorry-Demi Lovato
  • BO$$-Fifth Harmony
  • Pretty Girls-Britney Spears
  • Bad Girls-M.I.A
  • Ready For It-Taylor Swift
  • Blow-Kesha
  • Potential Breakup Song-Aly and AJ
  • My Rules-Jadagrace

Music is what feelings sound like

xxxChips

Reflection|2017 Highlights

Wow.This is it, I guess.In a few hours 2017 will officially be over.I did of a lot of things this year that were really gutsy and I honestly feel like I need to reflect on that because this was one of the best and worst years of my life.

HIGHLIGHTS

I asked my crush to go to the Spring Dance with me!

I watched a movie with him and we hung out for like the whole day!!!

I was a monitor!

I survived math!!!And NS!!I friggen got an 87% average in Afrikaans!!

I started a blog!

CLAIRE!!!!

I got a laptop!I got and iPhone!

I bought myself a camera!Also I solemnly promise to deliver ‘lit’ photos in all my posts next year

The Six!

CHEESCAKE!!!!! Cake is bae people,cake is bae.

I fell in love with Factorie

Came up with the stupid idea to do Youtube and announce it on my blog.

Started writing a book!

-Also if any of you like,write stories please please please hit me up on Twitter, because I would really love to hear some feedback on some of what I’ve written so far.And also I want a writing buddy!

My Twitter

I BOUGHT A CANDLE!! Okay I realise, how sad I’m starting to sound but I like candles and I never lit one myself until this year so I’m allowed to be happy

I went through this year with no regrets!

-I laughed about everything!I got a flipping 56 in a test and I laughed at myself and I moved the hell on and I’m hella proud of myself  for that!

Netflix

-My best friend in the whole entire world, we met this year.

There are many more things I could point out about this year. But before I go, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has ever taken the time to read one of my blog posts or like them or comment on them. Blogging has been my escape from stress and all the drama people like throwing my way, uhm, I just wanted to say that I love you all so much and you guys deserve the world so never settle for anything less than you deserve.yeah, I think that’s about it for now.

If you have any blog posts that you would like me to do, or do more of let me know.

Anyway, love you

xxxChips

Take the risk or lose the chance

Everything I’m Saying Goodbye To At The End Of 2017

Hey everyone

I hope you’re all having an amazing day

So today’s post is about being happy and how you can make 2018 a happier year for you. These are a few things that I’m saying bye to because I want to be a happier person, and I think that hearing this and thinking about how it relates to you might help you aswell.

-Forget expectations

I’ve spent the past two years listening. Listening to people go on and on about how I’m too ‘unladylike’; listening to people say untrue things about me and judging me.Nobody has ever been afraid to share their opinions about me, please don’t pity me because I really don’t care about what they think😂The hardest thing about growing up is that you’re supposed to figure out who you are. It’s hard enough with social media but even harder when everyone wants to share their own peanut gallery of thoughts about your life.Tbh I’ve never cared about expectations so why would I start now?

-Friends

Recently I said bye to one of my best friends.And no he isn’t dead.We’ve been friends for roughly two years now.We told each other everything, he was the first person to message me after a panic attack and make sure I was okay and the only person I wanted to rant about Shooter with.He was the first guy I genuinely cared about.When we decided it was better if weren’t friend a anymore it kinda broke me.Our friendship had been and always will be one of the best thing that ever happened to me and even though I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.It was time. I still miss him. I mean if you were trying not to have a panic attack while listening to Marvin’s Room you’d understand that better.What I’m trying to remember through all of this is that even though I’ve had to say goodbye to friends I love, true friendships will always withstand time and distance.

As for the fake ones? I handled them a loooong time ago.

sassy beyonce GIF

-Stop Holding On To The Past

It’s never easy to let go of the past because it’s what makes you you.You need to understand that whatever happened, whatever memory you’re trying to hold on to, is always gonna be there. Holding on to the past is only stopping you from living in the moment, from creating more amazing memories that you’re gonna look back on and smile about.
Goodbye past, I’ll be sure to visit soon.

-Comparison

You will always live in someone’s shadow if you constantly compare yourself to others. You are your own person. What good will pointing out how Sarah has longer, better looking eyelashes and higher cheekbones do?The first step to getting rid of comparison in your life is self-acceptance.Once you’re more than comfortable in your own skin you can truly start living the girl boss life you want for yourself.
Goodbye comparison you sure weren’t fun and you sure as hell won’t be missed.

-Fearing judgement

Fear can prevent you doing a lot of amazing things. In You Are A Badass, Jen refers to fear as the Big Snooze or BS for short.She’s completely right, fear is pressing the snooze button on all your dreams, It’s stopping you from achieving everything you have ever wanted to achieve.So I’m gonna challenge you to challenge one of your fears in 2018, do something you’ve never done before because you were scared.

 

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“And so together they built a life they loved”
xxxChips