Dear x

I haven’t completely made up my mind about how I feel about x after hearing all the rumours that have been circulating about him, and tbh, I feel like I would be happier not doing so, so I won’t. This letter is centred around xxxtentacion’s album 17. I wasn’t even going to insert an intro because I’m bad at those but just thought I’d give you some context. So this is my letter to Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy, and the I have nothing else to say, so here goes:

♤♤

Dear X

It’s crazy to think that I probably would’ve never heard of you without one of my close friends. At the time, I was severely depressed and in one of the rare moments that I actually felt comfortable talking about my feelings and explained to her why I self harmed, she suggested that I listen to your music.

I’m sorry to say that your music didn’t numb my depression, my depression numbed me but that’s besides the point. The point is that in a time when I felt like I had nobody except my friends and felt like a burden, even to them, you were there. Your music was there but it felt like more, and it was. It felt like a mutual understanding between two people who felt broken, a promise to be there when it felt like there was nobody else.

I remember crying, the first time I listened to Carry On. At the time I was going through this really complicated thing that was so much more than just friendship between me and this boy. And the truth is, I loved him. I still do, but it’s different now, I once said to someone that I don’t think love ever goes away, it just becomes a different type of love or it’s less intense, I still believe that. Because to me it’s the only logical explanation to why I still run back to him to this day, why he’s the only person who can make me feel better in minutes. Because love love became friendship love.

I tend to get distracted when I write, sorry.

I clung to your music like a piece of driftwood at a time when I was drowning and it was the only thing in sight that could have saved me. I broke down and built myself back together again countlessly as I listened to 17, because that album was so much more than just your thoughts X, every word was one I had never been able to say aloud and it felt like an invasion of my every thought and feeling in the most beautiful way possible.

Because I wasn’t alone anymore. I had you and the millions of other people who had listened to 17 and felt similar to the way I did. And that was enough, that was enough to get me through one of the hardest times of my life. I cannot thank you enough, at a time when I couldn’t see the light you sat with me in the darkness. I totally read that off of Pinterest, but hey, at least I’m honest about it lol.

I never got to see you perform.

But things hurt less because of your music. And when I’m still hurting as Jocelyn Flores blasts through my earphones, I know I’ll be okay someday.

That’s all I ever needed to know.

♤♤

xxxChips

DEAR YOUNGER SELF

A letter to a little girl before she got help

Dear Chips

I know it’s hard. And I know you feel like giving up but my darling, don’t. I know that you feel like nobody understands you but there will come a time a few months from now when you get the help you need and the help you deserve.

A lot of people will complain about your behaviour and I know for a fact that you really don’t care about it and for that I am truly proud of you because those people are wrong.

And even though you’ve gotten into tons of trouble these past 5 years and you’ve been hurt a lot and you constantly feel like you’re drowning baby girl believe me when I say the things that were keeping you down all this time will not go away. You have the strength and you have always had the strength to fight them off,baby girl believe me when I say your pain will fuel the passion and the fire inside you.

You are the whole damn fire.You will always and always have been nothing but the whole damn fire.

Do not mistake the glint in my eyes for sparks. I am the whole damn fire

-Adria T Petrov

You will meet people who make you sad and you will meet people who make you happy. You will meet an amazing guy and he’s going to be your best friend for a very long time, you’re going to fall in love and it’s going to be one of the best things that’ll ever happen to you. It’s going to teach you how to be humble and patient and kind and have empathy it’s not going to be all smiles but it’s worth it in the end. You’re going to put a guy on a pedestal and after a few years you’re going to realise that you have to be your own everything and you’re going to make that happen.

You will fall in love again, this time with writing and art and that bond you have, I think, is unbreakable. You will become part of a community full of loving, kind people and you’ll get told that your depressing poetry should be in a book.

There will be bucketloads of drama and tears and confusing emotions and despite what people say the choices you make are not stupid or ruining your life in any way because even though you still have a long way to go,today is the happiest you’ve been in months.

You’ve been through so much but you’ve tried and still are today trying to be a rolemodel and despite everything and all the mistakes you make and will continue to make , you are an inspiration and not just to the amazing people who read Seventeen Wishes but to me as well.

To the lost little girl that was me. You are the badassiest,bravest, most beautifully fierce individual in the whole damn world.

Start believing it.

Something will grow through what you are going through and it will be you.

xxxChips

Lets chat (1)

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE NOTORIOUS CONOR MCGREGOR

Conor McGregor Get ready to move aside or be run over because Conor is coming to take over!

Dear Conor

You don’t know me, but I know you, but then again who doesn’t. Assuming that you ever even see this. You are such an inspiration! To me, to your fans, to everyone around you and I wanted to say thank you for that.

I visualize and I execute. @thenotoriousmma #Legend You know what I found funny, about this whole thing:The fact that everyone thought you lost. Because in my mind and my heart, you’ve never lost a fight.

Conor McGregor Cross Stitch Qoute from UFC 205. Double champ does what he wants . I’m a little obsessed with quotes, but this one has got to be one of my favourites. You had a goal and you went after it regardless of what anybody thought and that takes determination and courage. I’ve wanted to do MMA ever since I first saw you fight, actually I’ve wanted to be trained by you!

So True, All those people when it's good enough 4 their time than UR there in my life.. Wake UP- it's not just about Urself. Stop being self absorbed & Ignortant to others..U dont like when someone treats u bad -do U?My life is WAY TO GOOD for this nonsense from people who I've been there for w NOTHING but games in return.  When ur life isnt going good its Gods way of showing u how you may have treated someone prior in something...Do onto others like u would want done onto you.

You’re not conceited and that’s what I like about you, you work hard and you stay humble.  Not many people are like that, I admire that about you, you’re different.

N/A

 

To be honest, this probably wasn’t a very good letter (soz fam). But here’s a summary:

You’re my inspiration

AND I LOVE YOUR TATTOOS!!

 

 

XXXChips