tainted feelings…

I seem to have lost someone incredibly important to me. Have you seen her? I’ve ruined our friendship and I don’t think she’ll come back. I don’t think she should either. I always get these surges of underlying uncertainty but really my brain keeps shouting at me all the things I already know like “You do deserve her!” “You deserve to be happy” and I don’t know how to feel about that. I know for a fact a few months ago I would’ve been bawling my eyes out by now but now everything’s tainted. Nothing is what it is. It’s always… less.


It’s like my feelings have been diluted with something I can’t even begin to comprehend. It’s not that I don’t feel motivated, but I can’t say I’m full of energy at the moment either. I’m not sad, I’m not angry nor irritated I’m just…not, anything. My feelings are so detached from me at the moment. The only time I truly feel happiness is when I get emails from a best friend of mine.

I’m not sure if I should post this or not. Only because my moods change so quickly, thanks mood disorder I love you so much😒 That I could post this now and feel completely different 5 minutes later. Ugh. This is all so confusing!!!

On the bright side I’ve been writing more lately I’ve written a few poems and started attempting to write a short story, I’ve finished watching a comedy on Netflix (an attempt to brighten my mood. Ps it worked) and spent some time watching my favourite childhood movie: Alice In Wonderland!

Do you ever feel like you grew up too fast. Not as in, oh my gosh the years have gone by so fast, it feels like only yesterday that I was in grade 1. More like I’m 99.9% certain that I’m a 30 year old in a 13 year olds body.

I seriously can’t remember a time I didn’t feel older than people the same age as me. Maybe that’s why I find it easier to have conversations with people older than me. Truthfully I forget, that I’m younger than some of my friends our relationships seem so different to my relationships with my peers.

I’ve always felt older than I am. Have any of you experienced this?

xxxChips

i’ve come to the realisation that…

This is something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while…

I’m not a typical blogger.

To be fair none of us are, lol.

I used to get so frustrated with myself because I wasn’t posting the type of things that got a lot of views aka. all the topics really popular bloggers were writing about. So like two weeks ago I sat down with myself and I said,

Also just a disclaimer: I call myself names a crap load of names, they are not words everyone would deem as ‘nice’ and it’s always been and always will be out of love for myself. Also I talk to myself and then lecture myself from other people’s POV’s and I can’t word things correctly at all lol, so I hope the next bit isn’t to confusing. Anyway… I sat down with myself and said,

“Listen hoe, you need to come to the realisation that you are never going to be like X, Y and Z. We both know you don’t care enough about fashion to be a fashion blogger and you can’t even put on mascara without poking your eye out so beauty blogging is out of the question. And will be for a very long time. You get so angry with yourself because you’re not ‘like’ them. Lol, bruv, have you met you you’re not like anyone, you’re like the cutest weirdo ever. There isn’t a single post on my blog that I regret posting, and I can proudly say that I am damn proud of every single post I’ve ever bloody written. You are never going to be like them. The truth is, I don’t want you to be. I want you to post about the randomest things that you feel like ranting about and use all the big words you’ve learnt and talk about things that I care about. But you’re a damn good writer, and a pretty awesome blogger too, and you’ve become friends with the some of the most incredible people on the planet. They know you.

The real you. And they accept you. For the weird, crazy, bubbly, loud-mouthed, strange, lover of big words and cheesecake of a person you are.

Best believe, that’s not changing for anyone.”

xxxChips

GET TO KNOW ME ||Q&A|| REFLECT WITH ME

I’ve been feeling so inspired lately!

giphy-downsized

You can find out why here

Recently I realised that you all know a lot about me but at the same time you don’t.
(Lol,I’m an actual walking contradiction), which is why I decided to do a Get To Know Me, Q&A and Reflect with Me all in one gigantic organised mess of a post.
So this is one of the posts I’m most proud of and I’ve had so much fun doing this and I hope you love it as much as I do.
Dedicated to:
My husband( Cheesecake)
(Claire laughs because she saw the cheesecake dedication coming from a mile away and everyone else just shakes the head and smiles because they’ve gotten used to the level of crazy I’m at)
& Brianna (because our Twitter messages complete me and I love youuu and cheesecake plans before we get old are coming soon and I want to write A-Levels because I’m extra. Love you my beautiful❤️)
& Claire (I love youuuuuuuu so much, thank you for the endless support and emails and love and just everything!! I was going to put a giant emoji but they don’t look big on WordPress so this was the best I could do❤️. Love you loads beautiful)
Also I would highly recommend getting yourself some cake while reading this or coffee but I’ve banned all of you from eating cheesecake; you have to ask me first.
Yes, that was a joke. I would never deprive anyone of the most basic need:cheesecake.
However, I would like to state before we begin that nobody is allowed to marry Cheesecake apart from me. Once again I’m joking, just sleep with one eye open, in case of ‘accidents’…
Also this is like the longest post I’ve written EVER! And I’m hella proud of this one, and I’ve said that already but hopefully my weak attempts at humor actually make you laugh.

I'm most proud of...
Finding the courage to let go of a toxic person in my life, becoming confident in myself and finally feeling confident enough in my writing to call myself a writer. (Claire was like 99.9% responsible for this! PS:I love you)

Who inspires you

This is literally going to turn into the post I wrote a while back about how much Claire has changed my life. Claire’s been such an inspiration to me from day one. She’s my writing buddy and my role model and best friend all at once! She’s encouraged me to chase my dreams and her writing is beyond sensational. Plus she makes me grin so much that my face hurts and laugh bucketloads.

Priorites atm

I’m focusing on being happy. Manifesting. Achieving. Dreaming. It took 1 chapter of an incredible book to send me into this burst of happiness that I feel might be everlasting. I’m beyond inspired, beyond excited and I’m so ready for my dreams to become reality!

My legacy

I want to inspire people. That’s all I want. I want to give people the push they need to go for it, to achieve their dreams. I want to make people happy and make people laugh but I want to be a reminder, to all the little girls and boys who feel broken beyond repair, because I’ve been there and I’m not afraid to admit that sometimes I still feel that way but I’ve realised just how incredible I am. I’ve realised that yes, parts of me are broken but broken things can still be beautiful. And you are beautiful and kind and deserving and badass all at once and anytime something I write makes you smile or laugh or feel happy; that’s everything and more to me.
I want to remind you all that my tweets,DMs, email is ALWAYS open for anyone who wants to talk. Like I’m for real can we please have a two-hour conversation about the day I got married to cheesecake. You are not alone. I’ll always be right there, ready to send countless memes and cheesecake references and give advice and listen. I’ll always be here for you, DON’T EVER FORGET THAT!
I love you. And I hope that someday, if you don’t right now, love yourself too.
I know this sounds super weird but I really really want to talk to more of you, like your comments literally make my day and the bloggers that I’ve talked to on Twitter so far, like I’m literally clapping for you, you make me laugh so hard and my favourite potato almost made me die from it, btw I love you if you’re reading this.
All my socials are at the end of this post for those of you who wanna chat xx

which animal would be most terrifying if it could speak

Like, I literally didn’t even have to think about this one, the answer is cats. Like I can’t see one without having heart failure and jumping onto the back of the nearest person there is *viewers read this and finally understand what Chips meant when she told the story of being dropped into a thorn-bush*
Hence my almost-death, the really cute picture from that night is onmy Instagram it’s the one with me and one of my best friends and we’re both wearing black, and glow in the dark Mickey Mouse type ears and our tongues are out and it’s literally my favourite photo ever, that was one of the best nights of my life with my best friend and that alone made it incredible!
Okay, apart from you now knowing about how I was dropped into a thorn-bush, I want you to know I will not hesitate to tackle you in an attempt to get to safety if I see a cat.
BEWARE OF THIS: Kids, make sure to buy yourself one of this American Football type helmets-you don’t think you need it now-trust me you will.
Disclaimer: Lol, but like for real I’m not even kidding if you’re ever walking with me somewhere, please just put your safety first, I’ll leave some links to American Football helmets down below for those of you who would like to live a long -concussion-from-tackling-due-to-cat-attack free life.

what am i avoiding coz of fear

Cats.
what do you wish to do more of
Eat cheesecake.
Like guys, I’m serious. I actually need help, please send cheesecake though, that’s all the help I need.
Pfft I don’t have an obsession with cake *she says in an incredibly high voice*
I’m actually being serious here, if you’re not buying me cheesecake we can’t be friends.
Lol I’m totally kidding but if you send me cake emojis that totally counts,my best friend ‘bought’ me three ice-creams coz there was none at home like can we please just take a moment to appreciate #actualfriendshipgoals

have you ever taken karate

I took it for like a week when I was in grade 2 but I stopped a week after I realised I wouldn’t be chopping wood with my hands anytime soon, that was literally all I was there for, like I’m not even joking. Dudes but for real I’m an actual joke, lol but you a hot joke, true*Chips smirks and her mouth drops when she realises the world know knows what her conversations with herself are like, a combination of calling herself a joke and justifying it with her ‘hotness’ but for real I’m a sax, lol who am I?
Like I’m sorry I actually need to stop this question here because you cannot even begin to imagine the bit after that, which I left out for a very important reason, before you run away because you’ve realised I’m an actual weirdo, I promise I begin to appear more normal as this post goes on..
Brain: You do realise everyone knows the last sentence was an absolute lie?
Me: Shut up you pretzel!

can you whistle

I’ve been trying since the day I was born and I still flop miserably at it. Warning: In no way should you attempt to ask Chips to whistle if you don’t want to end up covered in spit.
Lol, I lowkey just realised I’ve been talking in second?third? person. This is how you know what her English marks are like on her school report; she doesn’t even know the difference between second and third person. Send a tutor, jk, I’ll be fine with just cake.

book i always reread

 I put more than one because these are my favourite books of all time, excluding like two books, Tigerlily- because I’m too scared to read it again coz it was sad, beautiful, tragic all up in one book( lol, Swifties got that reference) and Girl, Interrupted-because whilst the movie is my favourite movie in the /entire universe/world/ever/there is nothing better/I’m an actual joke/ bruv *looks at herself in the mirror disapprovingly* lol you thought it ended there *…calls herself gorgeous, smiles, and thinks about how much of a joke she is. A joke. But a hot joke.*

  • Okay what I was trying to say is whilst Girl, Interrupted is my favourite movie ever, I haven’t gotten to read the book yet because my local bookstores don’t love me or have it.

The Perks of being a Wallflower
The Catcher in the Rye
Milk and Honey
Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately

biggest fear

To be forgotten by a person I could never forget.

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So, firstly I’m 13 that translates to I’m broke af, I don’t have money. I’m 13, I don’t have a job, and I may or may not have spent the last money I had on 5 boxes of cheesecake. But if I had money I would give some of it to charity, because obviously I still need to buy like sweets and popcorn and cheesecake but apart from those basic necessities I would give the rest of the money to charity.

religion

Atheist.

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Love is Trust.

hardest thing to tell people

That I used to self-harm. Simply because every time I hear someone close to me self-harms I feel personally responsible, also it hurts me to see how hurt people feel because of it. For any of you going through anything, my messages are always open x
CALM HARM– App for those struggling with self destructive behaviour

zodiac

To quote Lil Wayne, ‘…on my Libra scale I’m weighing sins and forgiveness…’ .

food

I’ve been ranting about this for like the past…however many minutes it took you to read all this an answer is hardly necessary.

best compliment

My friend’s Mum said I should be a model. And I was there like:

breaking dungeons and dragons GIF by Geek & Sundry

And then I was like “Thank you so much ma’am!” because despite the fact that I was dying from all the laughter I had to be polite because my Mum was standing next to me and I have morals. I’m like 1.3 ish meters tall, and because I was curious I Googled calculated it all in my head because I can do math* And that’s like 4’2 and I don’t know how the whole foot measuring system works because lol, I’d have to understand math for that to happen. Anyway… I’m so short I may as well be a turnip! Like it took me 13 years before I was even tall enough to go on the “big kid” rides. I’m the size of a turnip and I could be a model!!!???! Mindblown! 🤯

Lolllll, I’m turnip goals!

jimmy fallon lol GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

*Who does this chick even think she’s fooling?

Lets chat

I hope you enjoyed this incredibly long post! If you liked it feel free to share and leave a comment! This was really different to the normal blog posts I do, so let me know if you’d like to see more posts like this in the future xx

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Infinite X’s and O’s

Chips

13 THINGS IN 13 YEARS|SELF LOVE SERIES

Heyyy

So this is a post that I’ve been wanting to do for a while, I’ve been doing a lot of self discovery lately and now felt like a good time to do a little advice post😊

1. FITTING IN ISN’T ALWAYS GOOD

As I get older, I’ve been noticing that a lot of people who I used to be close friends with are making choices that I don’t agree with. Being a teenager is hard and right now I’m at a point in my life where I really couldn’t care less about what other people are doing. Seeing a psychologist and getting medication and help for my depression and mood lability has really helped me see that life is worth living. Right now I’m too focused on improving myself and working towards my goals to be caught up in everybody else.Fitting in isn’t always the right thing.

2. TRUST YOUR GUT

I’m going to be straight with you and tell you that over the past 5 years I’ve gotten into a fair amount of trouble, but the truth is that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t taken the chances that I did. Trust yourself.

3.PAVE YOUR OWN PATH

This is something I think almost everyone can relate to. You know what you want and everyone around you has their own ideas about what you should be doing with your life and it can be really difficult if you feel like you’re not being supported. If you have a dream or a goal then don’t let other people determine whether or not you try working towards it.

4. DON’T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT

I still remember the first day I reached out to my favourite blogger and rolemodel Claire Cramphorn.  It was the first time I’d ever talked to another blogger and it was the best thing I ever could have done for myself. Not only did I do my first collab Girl Talk with Claire but I made a best friend in the process.Don’t be afraid to a) ask for help b) reach out to a blogger you admire or c) market/advertise your blog on social media.

5.MAKE YOURSELF YOUR EVERYTHING

Lately I’ve been thinking about how to some people my life would seem boring. I don’t go out much, I’ve somehow managed to become socially awkward and I prefer being alone. Most of my time is spent blogging, writing or taking photos in my room all whilst dancing to Lil Xan. But after 21 days of self discovery I’ve started loving myself again and I’ve decided to stop finding myself and finding acceptance in others and start loving and accepting myself first.

6.SELF NURTURE IS KEY

I recently learn that there is a big difference between self care and self nurturance. Self care refers to “… any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated.”In other words it’s pretty much hygiene. Self nurturance however refers to the act of loving and taking care of oneself. In short, self nurturance is self-love.  I used to put everybody’s needs above my own and I ended up stressed and unhappy because I had been way to involved with other people’s well-being that I had forgotten to nurture and love myself.

I’ll leave a list of self nurturance ideas below for those of you who are interested.

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7.YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO THROW PUNCHES AND WHEN TO ROLL WITH THEM

So…I’m notorious for being dramatic,having hectic mood swings and anger management issues-a dangerous combination. I also have very strong views on EVERYTHING and I believe things should happen a certain way and 99.9% of the time my way is the best way. I’ve suffered through countless group projects and it’s taught me two things a) group projects suck and b) you need to know when to throw punches and when to roll with them. I am extremely quick to voice my opinion about everything and I genuinely fear for people who get on my bad side. Over the past five years of my life I’ve learnt just how consequential that can be. Over the past year or so I’ve been trying to find the balance between being opinionated and my mood swings, which hasn’t been easy as I get angered quickly but I’m slowly learning that sometimes it’s better to let karma handle things. But be warned if karma doesn’t handle you: I will.

8.PASSION PROJECTS CHANGE EVERYTHING

DID YOU KNOW?

Seventeen Wishes started out as a passion project

Seventeen Wishes started because I was bored. Seventeen Wishes is what it is today because my passion fuelled something so much bigger. Whether it be art, writing, athletics or even blogging finding something your passionate changes your life completely. Trying new things is incredibly important and so is taking a chance on your ‘passion project’ it could change the game completely.

9.GOALS.GOALS.GOALS

Goals are necessary for success and happiness. Ever since I was little I would make lists, to do lists, things that make me happy lists. You name it, I had a list for everything. Setting goals not only helped me to stay motivated but it’s kept me from straying off the path I’ve set for myself. There are times when I’ve seen people on Instagram doing things that I don’t agree with, and just to be clear I’m not saying this to be rude or mean in any way. But the question that has constantly bounced itself around my mind when seeing this is ‘How could this possibly be helping someone achieve their goals?’. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with having fun but to me when I see people doing certain things I can’t help but think… ‘Why?’

I strongly believe that if you know the goals you have for yourself you’re a lot less likely to stray off the path of achieving your goals plus there is nothing more satisfying than achieving a goal you’ve worked hard for.

10.EDUCATE YOURSELF

This is one of the most important and rewarding things you can do for yourself. I love learning. I love reading and watching TED TALKS and talking about things that need to be talked about and not shying away from controversy. I feel like it’s one of the main reasons I talk (not in a bad way) and feel older than I am constantly. I’ve been told since I was about 5 years old that I was incredibly mature.When I was 5 my teacher told my mum I had the reading ability of a 16 year old. And it’s literally an integrated part of me. I honestly believe that learning is such an amazing thing and I would not be the person I am today without it.

11.OWN EVERYTHING YOU DO

I’m going brutally honest with you and tell you that this year my self confidence was at an all time low. I became  more depressed and I isolated myself from everyone and then I stopped talking, to tell you the truth the day I stopped talking was the day I realised that I truly had lost myself these past few months. And I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it magically fixed itself overnight, it took therapy and medication and an unforgettable group of people to gain my confidence back. And you can bet your ass that it’s back for good. Nothing changes if you don’t believe in yourself.

12.DANCE PARTIES ARE NECESSARY AND SO IS SPOILING YOURSELF

Congratulations on owning everything you do. I’m proud of you now go dance to your favourite song because I’m proud. You deserve to spoil yourself every once in a while. Go on, turn that Lil Xan song up, we both know you want to.

13.SOMETIMES YOU FIND FAMILY IN THE PEOPLE YOU CALL YOUR FRIENDS

Truth be told, I’ve found family in the people I call my friends. I’ve found family in the blogging community and I’ve found family in my rolemodels. They’ve been there for me for everything and supported me and given me advice and I’m so grateful to have my friends and the people in the blogging community and I’m so grateful that I can call them family because they’ve always treated me like I was.

I hope you enjoyed this post because I had so much fun writing and I did take a dancing break which was extremely fun.

Love you 

“I no longer force things.

What flows, flows

What crashes,crashes

I only have space and energy

for the things that are meant for me”

xxxChips

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DEAR YOUNGER SELF

A letter to a little girl before she got help

Dear Chips

I know it’s hard. And I know you feel like giving up but my darling, don’t. I know that you feel like nobody understands you but there will come a time a few months from now when you get the help you need and the help you deserve.

A lot of people will complain about your behaviour and I know for a fact that you really don’t care about it and for that I am truly proud of you because those people are wrong.

And even though you’ve gotten into tons of trouble these past 5 years and you’ve been hurt a lot and you constantly feel like you’re drowning baby girl believe me when I say the things that were keeping you down all this time will not go away. You have the strength and you have always had the strength to fight them off,baby girl believe me when I say your pain will fuel the passion and the fire inside you.

You are the whole damn fire.You will always and always have been nothing but the whole damn fire.

Do not mistake the glint in my eyes for sparks. I am the whole damn fire

-Adria T Petrov

You will meet people who make you sad and you will meet people who make you happy. You will meet an amazing guy and he’s going to be your best friend for a very long time, you’re going to fall in love and it’s going to be one of the best things that’ll ever happen to you. It’s going to teach you how to be humble and patient and kind and have empathy it’s not going to be all smiles but it’s worth it in the end. You’re going to put a guy on a pedestal and after a few years you’re going to realise that you have to be your own everything and you’re going to make that happen.

You will fall in love again, this time with writing and art and that bond you have, I think, is unbreakable. You will become part of a community full of loving, kind people and you’ll get told that your depressing poetry should be in a book.

There will be bucketloads of drama and tears and confusing emotions and despite what people say the choices you make are not stupid or ruining your life in any way because even though you still have a long way to go,today is the happiest you’ve been in months.

You’ve been through so much but you’ve tried and still are today trying to be a rolemodel and despite everything and all the mistakes you make and will continue to make , you are an inspiration and not just to the amazing people who read Seventeen Wishes but to me as well.

To the lost little girl that was me. You are the badassiest,bravest, most beautifully fierce individual in the whole damn world.

Start believing it.

Something will grow through what you are going through and it will be you.

xxxChips

Lets chat (1)

I AM A BRAIN•POEM

I am a brain.

Sometimes you love me for my rational way of thinking

Or when you get an A on the math test you thought you would fail

What you don’t love is when I get in the way of your heart

Because then you know

You’re stuck on this emotional rollercoaster

And there’s no getting off ’till the end

You don’t really understand the way I work

Or why I make you think the things you think

Or why you make you do the things you do

I give you reason to think the things you think

And sometimes you mull it over and you can’t help but think

“What the…?”

But there’s a reason for my madness

My mystery

My expertise

In a field of matters you’re only just beginning

To understand

What is the labyrinth

Is it the pain you feel in life or the escape?

Is it straight and fast? Is that the way out of suffering?

I am a brain.

Complex

Pessimistic

Strange

Assiduous

Sophisticated

Opportunistic

Unrealistic

Brain.

The story behind the poem:

During a therapy session my psychologist placed numerous objects on a table in front of me and asked me to write something from the objects point of view. While writing this I wasn’t me, I was my brain and after I had written my poem, my psychologist asked if I thought this poem was related to my feelings in any way. I said no. She asked me to read it again, aloud and insert my name and personal pronouns where needed.

So I thought I would share this with you because I’ve realised that in the past few months I’ve been underestimating myself.A lot. And after reading this poem a second time I realised that even though my writing is far from perfect I am a talented writer. And writing this has made me realise that now it isn’t just something people say to be nice and it was never just something people said to be nice, it was something they genuinely believed. And now I believe it too.

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Stop stopping yourself.

xxxChips

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FROM THE ROOTS UP 🌪

Nebulous/adj.1.in the form of a cloud or haze;hazy. 2 (of a concept or idea) vague or ill-defined.3. Astronomy relating to a nebula or nebulae.

Derivatives :nebulosity,nebulously;nebulae


I want this blog to be raw.A space,that isn’t, filtered. And in saying this,I write this post for me.And I write it because for me blogging is the therapy 5 days out 7.

Everything feels weirdly spacey, like my brain’s turned into mush but my thoughts are swirling around my head;orbiting around this planet my psychologist is only beginning to understand.

It all feels so hazy. It’s like swimming in a pool with fog surrounding you,and you feel extremely disoriented and you’re trying to push through and get to the other side but it’s so extensive that you don’t even know which way you’re going and whether or not it’s the right way.

Several things have happened lately that I want to share with you. Firstly after years of me knowing it :I was diagnosed with depression and a severe mood lability.

Honestly I’m not even freaked out about it, at first I felt relieved,because let me tell you that there is no better feeling than knowing that what you are going through has a name and you’re not going insane.Because that’s literally what it felt like.The funny thing is that I figured this in grade 3;the depression part,not the other thing, and nobody believed me.And honestly I don’t know how a 9 year old figured it out but I did and I did tell someone but they were so condescending and skeptical about it,that I just didn’t talk about it with people. Maybe that has something to do with me having trust issues or the fact that I have trouble expressing myself if it’s not on WordPress,in my journal or in the note section of my phone,I forget where I was going with that-It’s been happening a lot lately.

And then the part that I had felt so certain about in the beginning:high school,my future and everything else that comes with that. All of it, mapped. All summed up in my head,with the most intricate of details;gone. That imperfect future;the one with flaws that was still every bit as magical with all the flaws;the one my mind weaved up and conjured into this living,breathing idea isn’t what I thought it would be like.

So for now the music takes me, takes me back to when things weren’t so fuzzy and messed up and my plans were still perfect.

I’ve also been messing up a lot lately,simple actions that even a 5 year old could perform well are beginning to seem like rocket science to me. I just feel like I’m in this big bubble and I’m floating and I’m here but my mind is just so scattered and so full of everything and nothing that it feels like my head is going to burst open and leave all my thoughts on the floor like confetti for everyone to see.

We reached 200 followers and there are people who I want to acknowledge and thank for that specifically but I’ve set the wrong mood and it wouldn’t make sense to do it now,so that post is coming. I hope it makes you smile,because all of you make me so happy and I’m ever so grateful for all of you

But for now, to quote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I want you to know that I am both happy and sad. And I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

xxxChips❤️❤️

Letters to Us

Hey, guys

I feel like I haven’t written in ages, is that just me? Lately, writing a story has been on my mind a lot, and it is something I really want to do, I just don’t like writing stories or narratives or essays and… I don’t know really because I just remember wanting to be an author for the longest time when I was young because I absolutely loved the feeling I got while reading a book like The Secret Seven ( one of my faves)! I’ll write more about tis though, so you can check that out once it’s posted!

Note:

This is another awesome collaboration with Claire!

So I’ve been seeing a lot of letters to younger and older self posts and videos on Youtube and that was basically the inspiration for this post. I generally am horrible at writing letters, and this was no different and it is quite short but older me knows not to mess with current so I’ll save some info for later.

Chips

Do you still dream? Dream about your goals and hopes and future I mean, I’m just saying but 13 year old me is giving you the look right now if you don’t. I’m sure life has changed tremendously for you but then everything is constantly changing ( do you still hate change?), ever since 2016 you’ve been exceptional at trying new things!

  • The randoms
  • Did you get the tattoos? This is a very important question btw, you’ve been wanting a tattoo when you got older since you were like 8 and then you forgot about that and then you started thinking about it again last year (mainly this year)
  • It’s so weird to think that you’re at university right now studying something that you love!Lol, not because you wouldn’t study what you love we all know you would but because the Libra in you still can’t pick between an apple or banana😂 Also, if you aren’t studying what you wanted to study, do us a favour and throw away recycle those study notes and textbooks because I’m not going to let you waste my time learning something that isn’t going to benefit me and make me happy.
  • Blogging 

You started blogging in April, it’s August now and that is like the craziest thing ever! Because in those few months I’ve become so much more independent and I write which is really good. And I don’t mean stories or anything like that but your blog posts are exceptional I really love how we/I/you find it easier to blog(writing) than write stories(writing), there clearly was nothing wrong with that sentence😂😂

I just want to let you know that

A)

B) Stars can’t shine without darkness

C ) Next month ( this is not next month 2017, this is next month in whatever year you’re reading this as an oldie), you’re going to go vegan if you haven’t already

D) This one’s a question:  Where’s the Lambo?

For those of you who don’t know, I want a purple Lamborghini just like the Joker because that is one cool car❤❤❤

I feel like this letter could’ve been longer but there will be many more in the future, at the end of the day, the important thing is that you have fun and help others as much as possible.

Remember: Cake is, and always will be bae😂💙

And also something to make you laugh:

Skroupa totally would have given us credit in his class for this hahaha

I love you

XxxChips

Claire

When you’re done reading this bundle of awesomeness be sure to check out her other posts and show her some love!

Hey, Teenage Claire,

Guess What?

You are going to be every single teenage cliche that ever existed. (Apart from teenage pregnancy. You won’t be that one.) But all the others? Yeah, you’re going to be them…

You’ll skip class to hang out with boys, spend far too much time binge watching trashy T.V. shows, have the sleeping pattern of a fruit bad, a terribly unhealthy relationship with Facebook, and as for your style? Well, that’s going to be unforgiveable in ways that I can’t even count.

I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you how badly some of that is going to suck, but let me break a few things down for you anyway…

We may as well get this one out of the way early…

You know how you spend all that time daydreaming about being super world famous? Well, that’s not going to happen. You won’t be a millionaire by the time you’re twenty one, you won’t walk the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and you won’t own a penthouse apartment in Manhattan (you won’t even go there until you’re twenty six.) Keep those ideas in your head though – it’ll do you good to dream about something – just know that you aren’t going to be the seventeen year old who gets spotted by some Hollywood hotshot, who just happened to be frequenting your local supermarket.

Speaking of Hollywood…your life isn’t going to play out like a romance movie – like you always thought it would. You will often feel like that classic, wide-eyed, dippy girl who stars in one though. Mainly because you’re going to be the type of person who falls in love in a three second maximum. It means you’re going to get your heart flattened quite a lot (it’s what happens when you put it out there so willingly) in fact it’ll often feel like it’s completely shattered, but I promise it isn’t. Everything you feel will get better eventually. (You might just have to watch the SATC box set a few times to get there.)

 

Sometimes it’ll be you who’s the problem. You’re going to break some hearts, and that won’t ever feel good, but rest assured that you’ll only ever do it for the right reasons. You’ll do it because you’re someone who is looking for real love (the kind Carrie taught you about when you were watching that box set.) Nothing less.

It means you’ll actually spend most of your time being the single one of the group. You will both love this and hate it in equal measure. That’s perfectly normal. Just like it’s perfectly normal to lose some people along the way. You see, while you’re going to be lucky enough to meet a load of super cool people, you’re also going to meet some super toxic people. Sometimes they’ll whisper behind your back, and sometimes they’ll just outright insult you in every way possible. You’ll bottle it up for a long time and pretend to be okay with it, but the sooner you cut them out your life the sooner you’ll realise they were never all that nice to you in the first place. Do yourself a favour and make sure you surround yourself with only the right people. Life is hard enough without trying to dodge passive aggressive comments from fake friends.

Especially when you’re the person who can’t even figure out how to handle lunch. Yeah, seriously, lunch. And all the other meals for that matter. You’re going to so bad at dieting. Like, Biblically bad. You won’t go on fad diets as much as you’ll just quit eating for days at a time. Then you’ll do the opposite and consume the entire contents of the fridge. For a smart person it’s going to take you a real long time to figure out how dumb that is. Just like it’s going to take you a real long time to have a healthy approach to exercise. For years you’ll be caught in this hate-it/obsessed-with-it cycle, and the only thing you’ll really achieve by doing that is finding a different way to punish yourself.

You’ll save yourself from it eventually but gosh, that one’s going to take some serious work.

But here’s the good news…

After all those horrible dates, and those poisonous friends, and all that time you never had a clue what you should or shouldn’t be putting in your mouth… you’ll grow up and still be a wide-eyed, dippy girl who has dreams that are bigger than the Universe. They will never take that away from you.

And although you’ll have to work your way through a lot of issues (like, a whole heap of them) and work really hard at everything you do (you’re never going to be that girl who casually glides through life, making everything appear effortless) one day you’ll look back and understand what it all meant.

You’ll be able to write better things because of it. You’ll be able to write things that matter.

And – while you’re saying so yourself – you can be sure that your heart will always be in exactly the right place. So remember to be kind to yourself.

It’s all going to be fine. I promise.

Love,

Twenty Seven Year Old Claire xxx

 

Other collabs:

Girl Talk❤

The Outfit Challenge with Gianna & Gemini

I hope you guys enjoyed this post, I doubt I’ll be posting anything soon but I am working on some stuff to showcase (a story maybe?)so it should be chilled. Remember to comment any questions, thoughts and randoms down below and let me know if there are any other posts you would like to see on Seventeen Wishes!

Love you so much

Infinite X’s and O’s

xxxChips

Girl Boss/ Guy Boss 

Hi, everyone! By know I’m sure you know Claire, my amazing friend with an amazing blog! It’s a new month which means a new post for my series and I’m really excited about it because, it was really fun to think of questions and write and like,really get into the zone.

I cannot write a good intro and because of this I’m gonna stop rambling on and get started!

OMG, love this so much😂❤

July’s Girl Boss is: Claire Cramphorn!

1.What was the last thing you Googled?


Taylor Swift and Ethel Kennedy. (I only JUST found out that she wrote Starlight for her.)

2.Pretty Little Liars or 13 Reasons Why?


13 Reasons Why!! (Clay! 😍)

3.Do you have any pets? If so, what are their names?If not,why?


We have 3 family cats: Molly, Patch Midnight (original, right?)

They eat too much food, they shed to much fur and they spent 87% of their time sleeping.

4.What is your favourite number?


5. Partly because my birthday is on the fifth and partly because the 5 times table is the easiest. (Ihatemaths.)

5.Favourite song at the moment?


It’s not exactly new, but right now I have Better Man by Little Big Town on a constant repeat.

6.What’s your philosophy in life?


Trust your gut.

7.Do you write in a journal/diary?


No, but I have a thousand notes saved on my phone. That’s where I keep all of my most important thoughts.

8.Would you rather have a nice house and an ugly car/ugly house and nice car?


Nice house, ugly car. For definite.

9.It’s your lucky day, a genie offers to grant you three wishes!What do you wish for?


1. For everyone in my family to be supremely happy.

2. To publish all of the stories that are in my heart.

3. A metabolism that allows me to eat cake without having to spend three hours burning it off in the gym afterwards.

10.When you feel sad do you prefer to be left alone or be with friends?

Left alone. (Unless my friends agree to bring cake.)

11. If you could send a message to the world what would you say (in less than 100 words)?


Nothing is more important then being kind to each other. So be kind. Everyday, just be kind.

12.What is something EVERYONE looks dumb doing?


Eating pizza with a knife and fork.

13.What is the last embarrassing photo you took?


 

20170717_190041

(In case you were wondering that’s the face I pulled when asked if I wanted to eat a chicken heart.)

14. What is the last photo you took


20170717_190014

(That’s me playing hide and seek.)

15.If you could change your name, right now, what would you change it to?


Mrs Di Caprio (because I married Leonardo, obviously.)

16. What was the name of your first crush?


Jack. And it’s still one of my favourite names.

17. When a sad song comes on and you’re driving do you ever look out the window and pretend you’re in a music video?

All. The. Time!

And it’s not even just when I’m looking out of the window. I do it when I’m walking, when I’m on the train…I basically treat my whole life like a music video. (I have issues.)

I hope you guys love this post as much as I do and thank you so much Claire for being July’s Girl Boss!