high school changes things

I feel sad being away from the only place I’ve ever been able to call home. Every catastrophic, tear filled, happy moment had happened there. I found myself and lost myself and got stuck somewhere in between. Most importantly though, I miss my old school, and I’m not talking about the one I was at this year because it was awful, I had a meltdown,self harmed more than I ever had before all in the space of one night and ended up in rehab.

I’m talking about the school I was in from grade 3-7 because the friends family I made at that school have supported me through everything.

And I’m forever grateful for that. I miss seeing them everyday and playing foursquare at break and eating during class and attempting to build our Tech projects.

High school changed all of that. We still talk, but it’s not the same.

Rehab taught me a lot of things. I learned to love myself again because of the friends family I made there.

It’s the reason I left someone I loved, someone toxic to my mental health. It gave me a reason to keep breathing. Reminded me that there will always be people who care about me, people who made me love myself. People to share memes with, and listen to music with and be vulnerable with.

I’m going to be okay.

For me. For the little girls and boys who’ll ever go through anything and need someone.

Because this isn’t a dream I’m willing to give up on.

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