So this is a post that I’ve been wanting to do for a while, I’ve been doing a lot of self discovery lately and now felt like a good time to do a little advice post😊
1. FITTING IN ISN’T ALWAYS GOOD
As I get older, I’ve been noticing that a lot of people who I used to be close friends with are making choices that I don’t agree with. Being a teenager is hard and right now I’m at a point in my life where I really couldn’t care less about what other people are doing. Seeing a psychologist and getting medication and help for my depression and mood lability has really helped me see that life is worth living. Right now I’m too focused on improving myself and working towards my goals to be caught up in everybody else.Fitting in isn’t always the right thing.
2. TRUST YOUR GUT
I’m going to be straight with you and tell you that over the past 5 years I’ve gotten into a fair amount of trouble, but the truth is that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t taken the chances that I did. Trust yourself.
3.PAVE YOUR OWN PATH
This is something I think almost everyone can relate to. You know what you want and everyone around you has their own ideas about what you should be doing with your life and it can be really difficult if you feel like you’re not being supported. If you have a dream or a goal then don’t let other people determine whether or not you try working towards it.
4. DON’T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT
I still remember the first day I reached out to my favourite blogger and rolemodel Claire Cramphorn. It was the first time I’d ever talked to another blogger and it was the best thing I ever could have done for myself. Not only did I do my first collab Girl Talk with Claire but I made a best friend in the process.Don’t be afraid to a) ask for help b) reach out to a blogger you admire or c) market/advertise your blog on social media.
5.MAKE YOURSELF YOUR EVERYTHING
Lately I’ve been thinking about how to some people my life would seem boring. I don’t go out much, I’ve somehow managed to become socially awkward and I prefer being alone. Most of my time is spent blogging, writing or taking photos in my room all whilst dancing to Lil Xan. But after 21 days of self discovery I’ve started loving myself again and I’ve decided to stop finding myself and finding acceptance in others and start loving and accepting myself first.
6.SELF NURTURE IS KEY
I recently learn that there is a big difference between self care and self nurturance. Self care refers to “… any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated.”In other words it’s pretty much hygiene. Self nurturance however refers to the act of loving and taking care of oneself. In short, self nurturance is self-love. I used to put everybody’s needs above my own and I ended up stressed and unhappy because I had been way to involved with other people’s well-being that I had forgotten to nurture and love myself.
I’ll leave a list of self nurturance ideas below for those of you who are interested.
7.YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO THROW PUNCHES AND WHEN TO ROLL WITH THEM
So…I’m notorious for being dramatic,having hectic mood swings and anger management issues-a dangerous combination. I also have very strong views on EVERYTHING and I believe things should happen a certain way and 99.9% of the time my way is the best way. I’ve suffered through countless group projects and it’s taught me two things a) group projects suck and b) you need to know when to throw punches and when to roll with them. I am extremely quick to voice my opinion about everything and I genuinely fear for people who get on my bad side. Over the past five years of my life I’ve learnt just how consequential that can be. Over the past year or so I’ve been trying to find the balance between being opinionated and my mood swings, which hasn’t been easy as I get angered quickly but I’m slowly learning that sometimes it’s better to let karma handle things. But be warned if karma doesn’t handle you: I will.
8.PASSION PROJECTS CHANGE EVERYTHING
DID YOU KNOW?
Seventeen Wishes started out as a passion project
Seventeen Wishes started because I was bored. Seventeen Wishes is what it is today because my passion fuelled something so much bigger. Whether it be art, writing, athletics or even blogging finding something your passionate changes your life completely. Trying new things is incredibly important and so is taking a chance on your ‘passion project’ it could change the game completely.
Goals are necessary for success and happiness. Ever since I was little I would make lists, to do lists, things that make me happy lists. You name it, I had a list for everything. Setting goals not only helped me to stay motivated but it’s kept me from straying off the path I’ve set for myself. There are times when I’ve seen people on Instagram doing things that I don’t agree with, and just to be clear I’m not saying this to be rude or mean in any way. But the question that has constantly bounced itself around my mind when seeing this is ‘How could this possibly be helping someone achieve their goals?’. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with having fun but to me when I see people doing certain things I can’t help but think… ‘Why?’
I strongly believe that if you know the goals you have for yourself you’re a lot less likely to stray off the path of achieving your goals plus there is nothing more satisfying than achieving a goal you’ve worked hard for.
This is one of the most important and rewarding things you can do for yourself. I love learning. I love reading and watching TED TALKS and talking about things that need to be talked about and not shying away from controversy. I feel like it’s one of the main reasons I talk (not in a bad way) and feel older than I am constantly. I’ve been told since I was about 5 years old that I was incredibly mature.When I was 5 my teacher told my mum I had the reading ability of a 16 year old. And it’s literally an integrated part of me. I honestly believe that learning is such an amazing thing and I would not be the person I am today without it.
11.OWN THAT SH*T
I’m going brutally honest with you and tell you that this year my self confidence was at an all time low. I became more depressed and I isolated myself from everyone and then I stopped talking, to tell you the truth the day I stopped talking was the day I realised that I truly had lost myself these past few months. And I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it magically fixed itself overnight, it took therapy and medication and an unforgettable group of people to gain my confidence back. And you can bet your ass that it’s back for good. Nothing changes if you don’t believe in yourself.
You are a badass and it’s time for you to own that sh*t!
12.DANCE PARTIES ARE NECESSARY AND SO IS SPOILING YOURSELF
Congratulations on owning that sh*t. I’m proud of you now go dance to your favourite song because I’m proud. You deserve to spoil yourself every once in a while. Go on, turn that Lil Xan song up, we both know you want to.
13.SOMETIMES YOU FIND FAMILY IN THE PEOPLE YOU CALL YOUR FRIENDS
Truth be told, I’ve found family in the people I call my friends. I’ve found family in the blogging community and I’ve found family in my rolemodels. They’ve been there for me for everything and supported me and given me advice and I’m so grateful to have my friends and the people in the blogging community and I’m so grateful that I can call them family because they’ve always treated me like I was.
I hope you enjoyed this post because I had so much fun writing and I did take a dancing break which was extremely fun.
“I no longer force things.
What flows, flows
I only have space and energy
for the things that are meant for me”