FROM THE ROOTS UP 🌪

Nebulous/adj.1.in the form of a cloud or haze;hazy. 2 (of a concept or idea) vague or ill-defined.3. Astronomy relating to a nebula or nebulae.

Derivatives :nebulosity,nebulously;nebulae


I want this blog to be raw.A space,that isn’t, filtered. And in saying this,I write this post for me.And I write it because for me blogging is the therapy 5 days out 7.

Everything feels weirdly spacey, like my brain’s turned into mush but my thoughts are swirling around my head;orbiting around this planet my psychologist is only beginning to understand.

It all feels so hazy. It’s like swimming in a pool with fog surrounding you,and you feel extremely disoriented and you’re trying to push through and get to the other side but it’s so extensive that you don’t even know which way you’re going and whether or not it’s the right way.

Several things have happened lately that I want to share with you. Firstly after years of me knowing it :I was diagnosed with depression and a severe mood lability.

Honestly I’m not even freaked out about it, at first I felt relieved,because let me tell you that there is no better feeling than knowing that what you are going through has a name and you’re not going insane.Because that’s literally what it felt like.The funny thing is that I figured this in grade 3;the depression part,not the other thing, and nobody believed me.And honestly I don’t know how a 9 year old figured it out but I did and I did tell someone but they were so condescending and skeptical about it,that I just didn’t talk about it with people. Maybe that has something to do with me having trust issues or the fact that I have trouble expressing myself if it’s not on WordPress,in my journal or in the note section of my phone,I forget where I was going with that-It’s been happening a lot lately.

And then the part that I had felt so certain about in the beginning:high school,my future and everything else that comes with that. All of it, mapped. All summed up in my head,with the most intricate of details;gone. That imperfect future;the one with flaws that was still every bit as magical with all the flaws;the one my mind weaved up and conjured into this living,breathing idea isn’t what I thought it would be like.

So for now the music takes me, takes me back to when things weren’t so fuzzy and messed up and my plans were still perfect.

I’ve also been messing up a lot lately,simple actions that even a 5 year old could perform well are beginning to seem like rocket science to me. I just feel like I’m in this big bubble and I’m floating and I’m here but my mind is just so scattered and so full of everything and nothing that it feels like my head is going to burst open and leave all my thoughts on the floor like confetti for everyone to see.

We reached 200 followers and there are people who I want to acknowledge and thank for that specifically but I’ve set the wrong mood and it wouldn’t make sense to do it now,so that post is coming. I hope it makes you smile,because all of you make me so happy and I’m ever so grateful for all of you

But for now, to quote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I want you to know that I am both happy and sad. And I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

xxxChips❤️❤️

GIRLBOSS//GUYBOSS MARCH

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU🎵HAPPY BITRHDAY TO YOU🎵HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CHLOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAPPY BIRHTDAY TO YOU🎵

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PS:Sorry this is so late.

Who else missed GIRLBOSS//GUYBOSS❤ As we all know(I think😂) every month (and I say every very lightly😂) I do a post called Girlboss/Guyboss.

 

Now let’s get into this post😄It’s March and we all know what that means: *remembers the time she had to schedule her posts but used to watch Netflix*

This is the first Girlboss/Guyboss post of the year and it deserves someone incredibly special and extraordinary which is why February’s Girlboss is none other than Chloe from Midnight Wanderer

So I’ve been binge-reading Chloe’s posts for a while and stalking looking at her Instagram😄And she writes LIKE YOU CANNOT IMAGINE, like,she was one of the first bloggers I followed and this was when my blog was just starting out and I look up to her so much❤But that’s enough of my endless chatter, here’s the stuff you actually want:

1.If you could jump into a pool of something what would it be?

sdokpkNDBHSDISIIJSOJSDODJODJDIDHUDDUDUDGYDYYYSYGSUSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIaThis is an interesting one, the first thing that came into my head was a pool of glitter – because who doesn’t love that? Not sure how I’d feel about trying to get it all out of my hair afterwards though! I’d probably be a bit sparkly for a few days afterwards…

2.What inspired you to start blogging?

I was never really into the whole blogger community thing so there was never a specific person I looked at and thought wow, I want to start a blog because of them. I was more inspired by writers and people like Tia Henricks, Em Mercury etc. to create a platform where I could share my thoughts, feelings and interact with other like-minded people. So I’d say those were the people who inspired me to blog. In terms of what inspired me to blog, I wanted somewhere to share my thoughts, feelings and hopefully inspire and be inspired, I had a lot of things to say but nowhere to say it – there were a lot of stories I wanted to tell, a lot of memories I wanted to share and a lot of magic I wanted to create. I wanted to make something that I could share with others and show people like, look at what I did! I wanted to start something new and to start something for myself so, here I am.

3.What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured (try to top walking into a wall😂)? Honestly I’m probably the clumsiest person out there (I was walking backwards down a hill talking to some friends and fell straight into a dustbin once), but there are 2 things that came into mind when I read this question (thankfully they’re not recent events and only happened when I was younger) though I’m only going to mention one since the other is literally so bad, but basically I fell off the top of a slide and literally the whole of the left side of my face grazed off…meaning I was walking around for weeks where half of my face was just one big giant scab. Never have I wanted to walk round with a paper bag over my head so much.

4.What is something people would never guess about you?

Hmmm, maybe that I have a few tattoos & I’m basically obsessed with them & planning to get a load more?? I don’t look like your typical person who would have tattoos and people always seem a little surprised when they see them on me, so maybe that!

5.Finish the sentence: When I grow up I want to be_____________

HAPPY. Cliche I know, but if I’m happy then literally nothing else matters – I want to be free.

6.Who is your spirit animal?

Oh wow, the amount of times I’ve said this and suddenly I can’t think of a single person hahaha. If we’re talking about people then probably Chrissy Teigen, if we’re talking about actual animals then a sloth (or the dog with a blog – seems kinda fitting)…

7.Stranger Things or 13 Reasons Why??

Stranger Things forever!! It’s literally my favourite TV show in the world, those kids are just my favourite people on Earth I swear. As for 13 Reasons Why, I literally can’t stand it and think it’s the worst thing to have ever been aired on TV – I’m not even sure how it got to that stage!!

8.What are 5 things you couldn’t live without?

My dog My blog (ha)

My journal

My phone (to talk to everyone)

and my car, else I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere!

9.What is your biggest fear?

Watching someone I love slowly lose interest in me.

10.Would you rather have unlimited Tacos for life or unlimited Sushi for life😂?

I actually don’t like sushi and I’m not that much of a fan of tacos either, but I’ll have to go with the latter on this one!

11.Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I’ll be 30 in 10 years (jeez) so my biggest goal is to have started a family by then – I literally can’t wait to be a Mum.

11.If one animal was made the size of an elephant which would be the scariest😥😥
😥 Some kind of insect because those things are literally the creepiest in minuscule size, let alone elephant size! I feel like a crab would be terrifying since some photos came out recently of literal killer crabs and they were HUGE. Honestly the freakiest things ever.
12.What would be the worst movie sequel ever made😂😂?
Can I say a sequel to 13 Reasons Why?

13.What cheesy song do you know by heart🎤 Ooh, I know lots! Probably anything S Club, though I’m definitely not afraid to admit I still love them!

14.Whats a weird but delicious food combination you’re obsessed with

Cucumber on toast…weird, I know.

15.This one has to do with food as well because… you know, FOOD ! What would be the worst ingredient to fill a burrito with?
Either fish or mushrooms – or both!! I literally couldn’t think of anything worse.

Don’t forget to head over to Chloe’s blog for all her amazing content 💜💜

“Do something amazing”

xxxChips